Git yer ass off my desk…

16 Dec
How do they get any work done?

How do they get any work done? There are acceptable levels of clutter – especially when there’s a lot of work going on… this is not in my acceptable range! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey coworker! Yeah, you! The one whose desk is right next to mine in this open office hellhole. Get your fucking ass, and your shit, off my desk.

I work next to a woman who keeps her desk in a state of, well, shall we say, “creative disarray” and therefore has no room on her desk to do things like open a package, or wrap a package, or any number of things you use an open desktop for.

No problem. She just uses mine. It’s only four feet from hers, and that end of my desk is clear and clean. What’s the problem?

So she parks her projects in process, and sometimes her ass, on the end of my desk. Without asking. On a good day, she’ll make some comment after she’s already encroached. It’s always along the lines of “Oh, sorry, you don’t mind do you…” or “I just need a desk space for a moment, sorry.”

Busy Desk

There’s a lot going on here, but it’s neat and tidy. (Photo credit: Russell Heistuman)

Unfortunately, this is not an office environment where I could say, “actually, I do mind. Please move…” Nevermind that I keep my desktop neat for a reason – I like it that way. Nevermind that clutter and mess drive me nuts. This is an open office, we’re all expected to blend in with the lowest common denominator.

Maybe I should start decorating my desk with spiky sculptures, or thumbtacks. Or a desktop trebuchet. Or a giant electrical pad to administer a jolting shock to an errant ass.


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